Weird
by Mystic Weaver
Summary: A Wheel of TimeTortallan crossover. The result of too much sugar and too little sleep. Rating to be safe.


A/N : No flames. Ignore the OOCness please?  
  
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of either Tamora Pierce or Robert Jordan. I own zilch. Don't sue!  
  
The wheel of time turns and stuff happens that y'all probably already know about seeing as most of you've probably read more wot books than me so why am I sitting here rambling when I could be getting on with this sorry excuse for a ficcy? (~Damn, don't we all wish RJ had the same attitude towards long descriptions as I do?)  
  
~~ In Tel'aran'rhiod ~~  
  
Min: So, Umm.why are we here?  
  
A/N: I thought you saw things, don't you already know?  
  
Min: Actually, yes. I was just asking so I wouldn't have to be the one to tell everyone. We're here because you have some weird theory that every character in WoT has a counterpart or a character with the same name in TP's books.  
  
A/N: Nope. That's not the reason.  
  
Min: *stare* It's not?  
  
Egwene: I will not give her the satisfaction of asking. I will not! I will not!  
  
Nynaeve: Then why are we here?  
  
Min: Yeah, why?  
  
Moiraine: The wheel weaves as the-  
  
All: ".Wheel wills" WE KNOW!  
  
Moiraine: Do I say that a lot?  
  
Rand: YES!  
  
Loial: *mutters*.Angering Aes Sedai.  
  
Faile: Enough of this. Why are we here???  
  
A/N: Well.  
  
Rand: Yes?  
  
A/N: Well..  
  
Egwene: Yes???  
  
A/N: Well.  
  
Nynaeve: If you don't answer right now I'll string you to a horse and switch you in front of the whole village, you see if I don't!  
  
A/N: Oooh! Scary! Ok, OK. Min was right. I just wanted to make ya'll sweat a little.  
  
Nynaeve: *exploding* WHAT! That is the most Idiotic wool-brained reason I've ever heard. And I've lived with Two Rivers men!  
  
A/N: Relax, RJs not here. You can drop the sexism.  
  
Nynaeve: Ok.  
  
A/N: Anyway, we seem to be missing a few people. *snaps fingers and about a hundred people appear in the room, Mat among them*  
  
Mat: Nooooo! I was trying to get away from Aes Sedai! Blood and Ashes! Blood and Bloody Ashes! Blood and Bloody Bloody -  
  
Alanna Sedai: Oh shut up! *looking around* what's going on?  
  
A/N: OK, we'll start with you. Alanna Sedai, meet Alanna of Trebond Olau and Pirates swoop, shaman and rider of the Bloody Hawk tribe of the Bazhir, Knight and Kings Champion of the realm of Tortall, otherwise known as the Lioness.  
  
Alanna Sedai: *blink* Where?  
  
A/N: Look down.  
  
Alanna: Hi. *Alanna decks Alanna Sedai* Here y'go Nynaeve. One more Black Ajah to throw behind bars.  
  
George: *receiving gold from Mat* Hehehe. Easy Money.  
  
Nynaeve: Actually, I don't think she was Black Ajah. Then.I'm not too sure; I've only just finished the fourth book.  
  
A/N: Actually, now that I think of it, You two are more alike than Alanna and Alanna sedai. Considering your short.*receives glares from both women*.tempers and all.  
  
Nynaeve & Alanna: *grit teeth* *look at eachother* *shrug*  
  
A/N: *clapping hands together* Now.Who's next? Oh B-o-r-n-h-a-l-d!  
  
Old Bornhald: *rising from the dead* y-e-s?  
  
Dain Bornhald: Daddy! I thought you were dead!  
  
Old Bornhald: Yeah, I was.but Alanna brought me back.  
  
King Jon: *whining* Alanna! You said I was special!  
  
Alanna: That was before you turned into a royal prig!  
  
A/N: Slow down! You're all going too fast. OK, Old Bornhald?  
  
OB: Yes?  
  
A/N: Die.  
  
OB: OK. *Dies*  
  
A/N: Dain?  
  
Dain: Yes?  
  
A/N: Meet Daine.  
  
Dain: Aaaaahh! A woman with my name! She must be a Darkfriend! Kill her! Quickly!  
  
Daine: Odds Bobbs! Whats a Darkfriend?  
  
Perrin Aybara: Apparently; Me.  
  
Daine: What's so special about you?  
  
Perrin A: I run with the wolves.  
  
Daine: *shrugging* Me too.  
  
Elyas: Me three.  
  
Perrin A: Elyas! Where have you been?  
  
Elyas: Running with the wolves.  
  
Perrin A: Oh.  
  
Daine: This is all very confusing.  
  
Perrin A: Welcome to Randland.  
  
Daine: Who're you?  
  
Perrin A: Perrin Aybara  
  
Daine: Really? I have an ex named Perrin. He's an hostler.  
  
Perrin: Hi!  
  
Perrin A: You're an hostler? I'm a blacksmith!  
  
Numair: Daine! What's going on?  
  
Daine: Hi honey.  
  
A/N: Numair, isn't your real name Aram Draper?  
  
Numair/Aram: *blush* yes.  
  
A/N: Well meet Aram! The tinker with a sword!  
  
Aram: *gives everyone except Perrin a cold stare*  
  
Numair: This is a weird place.  
  
A/N: OK, now this is getting really confusing. I think I'll split you up in groups. Aram and Numair. Dain and Daine. Alanna, Alanna Sedai and Nynaeve. Perrin Aybara and Perrin the hostler. Rand and-  
  
Lanfear: He is mine! Lews Therin is mine, was mine and will always be mine!  
  
Rand: aaah! It's a forsaken! Kill it!  
  
Lanfear: But honey.  
  
Rand: Aaah!  
  
A/N: Hmm.Lanfear.you remind me of.Queen Thayet!  
  
Thayet: Why me?  
  
Lanfear: Yeah, Why her?  
  
A/N: Look around.  
  
*all the men are staring at the two women*  
  
Lanfear & Thayet: Oh.  
  
Alanna: Put that tongue right back in your mouth, George.  
  
George: Yes dear.  
  
Nynaeve: *sniff* Men!  
  
Mat: Women!  
  
Egwene: Men!  
  
Rand: Women! They're all Aes Sedai.all of them.every blasted woman I meet.  
  
Elayne: Men!  
  
Perrin: Women!  
  
Elaida: Men! I must kill all men!  
  
Rhurac: Women!  
  
Lanfear: Milksop!  
  
Min: Men!  
  
Gawyn: Women!  
  
All WoT characters: *stare at Alanna*  
  
Alanna: What??? I like men.  
  
Liam: It's true.  
  
George: Watch your mouth!  
  
A/N: Liam, you're a Shang Dragon, right?  
  
Liam: I was. When I was alive.  
  
A/N: *claps hands* perfect! You can go with Rand! You even look alike!  
  
Liam & Rand: *look at eachother* *shrug*  
  
Keladry: What about me?  
  
A/N: You go with.Aviendha.  
  
Keladry: Why?  
  
A/N: You're both.uh.tall. Yeah. And that whole Yamani thing just reminds me of Aiel.  
  
Aviendha: I will not be stuck with a wetlander! I am Far Dareis Mai!  
  
Amys: Were. Were Far Dareis Mai.  
  
Aviendha: I have toh.  
  
Alanna: I have ten. What's your point? Stop sharpening that knife.  
  
Aviendha: *mutters* Wetlanders.Amys, can you beat me please.  
  
Amys: *Sigh* Ok.  
  
Daine: *watching* A very strange place.  
  
Birgitte: You don't know the half of it. Hey, do you know how to use that bow on your back.  
  
Daine: I wouldn't have the nerve to carry it otherwise. Who're you?  
  
Birgitte: Birgitte, a hero out of legend. *everyone gasps* Oh.wait.I mean..  
  
Daine: I'm Daine, a demi-godess. *Everyone gasps again*  
  
Moiraine: The wheel weaves as the-  
  
All: ".wheel wills." WE KNOW!!!  
  
Min: *dreamily* I see.a wolf  
  
Mat: We all see it, Min.  
  
Wolf: Hi.  
  
Perrin A& Daine: Hopper! *stare at eachother*  
  
Daine: How do you know Hopper?  
  
Perrin A: He's my brother. How do you-  
  
Daine: He's my pack. Like family.  
  
Perrin: so, we're like related?  
  
Daine: I guess.  
  
Faile: How dare you lay eyes on my husband, wench!  
  
Daine: I was only talking-  
  
Faile: *gasp* Perrin! How could you!  
  
Berelain: How could he what?  
  
King Jon: Delia, is that you?  
  
A/N: Now this is getting ridiculous. Do you think RJ and TP know how many characters they have with same names/powers/personalities?  
  
Gareth Bryne: I doubt it.  
  
Gareth the Elder: Well, you'll never find a counterpart for me!  
  
Alanna: Look up.  
  
Gareth the Elder: Doh!  
  
Min: Quick! End the story before-  
  
Moiraine: The wheel weaves as the wheel wills.  
  
All: HELP!  
  
~~~~  
  
*All characters wake up in their own beds*  
  
Alanna: Goddess!  
  
King Jon: strange  
  
Thayet: *fingering nose* hmm.  
  
Daine: Odds Bobbs!  
  
Numair: fascinating!  
  
George: My money!  
  
Keladry: hm.  
  
Mat: Blood and ashes!  
  
Min: Curse you Rand al'Thor! This is your fault. Somehow, it must be!  
  
Faile: This is your fault Perrin!  
  
Perrin: Yes, dear.  
  
Rand: Must.stay.awake.they're all.watching me.OH THE VOICES!  
  
Nynaeve: *tugs braid*  
  
Egwene: I wanna do it again.  
  
Dain: Die Perrin!  
  
Elaida: Die all men!  
  
Aviendha: I am Far Dareis Mai!  
  
Loial: T'averen.  
  
Liam: NooO! I'm still dead.  
  
Bornhald: NoooO! Me too!  
  
Lanfear: He will be mine!  
  
Moiraine: The wheel weaves.  
  
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 


End file.
